The China Cat - Classic Porn Movie Now On DVD

The China Cat is a retro, campy, spy-spoof sex movie which follows the adventures of private dick, Johnny Wadd, played by the legendary John C. Holmes. Assigned a case via speaker-phone a la Charlie's Angels, a sexy squad of female detectives go undercover trying to get their hands on a priceless jade statuette Wadd possesses.

The China Cat was shot entirely on film and directed by acclaimed adult movie director, Bob Chinn. The China Cat is hot!Classic John Holmed big dick sex action in a classic movie from the Golden Age of porn.

“The China Cat is another entry from the famous Johnny Wadd detective series. This is a cult favourite which is pure entertainment because the cast is very hot. John Holmes and his unfeasably large tool take care of the adult movies' equivalent of Charlie's Angels in The China Cat as they try to persuade him to part with a priceless jade ornament. Recommended.”

Starring: Kyoto Sunn , Eileen Wells and John Holmes

Directed By: Bob Chinn

Studio: VCX Studio

The China Cat - Classic Porn Movie Now On DVD
The China Cat, from the Golden Age of movie porn, is another instalment in the much beloved Johnny Wadd series. This one follows right on the tail of the Jade Pussycat, and incorporates similar themes. The China Cat is a sort of Mike Hammer meets the Charlie's Angels parody. The film works as a good mystery thriller/comedy with the usual cliches thrown in for good measure. The China Cat is dated by the wardrobe, set design and hairstyles but it is still a pleasure to watch so many years later especially when you're trying to get in touch with classic porn of the past.

The China Cat Scene 1 - Desiree Cousteau and John Seeman; Barbi (Cris Cassidy), Sandi (Paula Wain), Shari (Eileen Welles) and Synthia (Jennifer Richards) play Charlie's Devils. They are an elite detective agency who thwart crimes and recover stolen artifacts much like the heroines of that television show, what's its name? The film opens with the ladies sitting around a couch listening to Charlie on the speaker phone. Charlie is recovering from an injury and is receiving oral resuscitation from nurse Desiree Cousteau. Desiree dressed in a nurses uniform administers one of the quickest, and sexiest, blowjobs in my recent memory. She doesn't rely on spit or drool, but rather her mouth and bare hands to get John Seeman off. He blows his load all over Desiree's pretty face. Charlie mentions to the girls that they have to recover an artifact known as The Jade Pussycat (aka China Cat). A contributor is willing to pay a large sum of money for the recovery of the Jade Pussycat. The problem is with who currently owns the statue, a private dick by the name of Johnny Wadd. Wadd has the prize and won't give it up for anything. Charlie and the girls devise a quick plan to recover the old statue. Paula Wain, a cute hippie-ish girl, with dirty blonde hair, had once worked as John's secretary but he didn't pay well enough for her to stay. Paula uses her former employment to gain quick access to John by asking for her old job back.

The China Cat Scene 2 - John Holmes and Paula Wain; Paula Wain goes for the interview and John is only too happy to have Paula back. Supposedly his last secretary had quit a week earlier and his office had become a little unkempt. Paula is eager to see John's cock again and immediately goes to work servicing him with her mouth. They hop up onto the desk for a one position fuck. The camera remains fixated on John's cock as it slides in and out of Paula's pussy. Much of John's life was a lie, as described in a recent E True Hollywood special, but everything about his cock, and its size, was true. This guy is huuuugggeee! He is at least thirteen inches long and really thick. His dick is the living embodiment of those over sized dildos you've seen used in so many lesbian porn flicks. He shoots his cum all over Paula's tummy.

The China Cat Scene 3 - Cris Cassidy and Eileen Welles; Back at the Devil's residence, Chris Cassidy and Eileen Welles decide to get to know each other a little better. The ladies go at it with hordes of gusto. Cassidy, a gorgeous blonde, whom I fell in love with in a movie called Sadie, devours Eileen's hot pussy the way a hungry lion would devour its prey. Welles is the sexy brunette fox who took a double handed fist insertion in Candy Stripers. She has curly brown hair and a marginally attractive face but looks very sexy getting her snatch tongued. Later, she returns the favor by devouring Cassidy's pretty puss. Cris appears to have a real orgasm here.

The China Cat Scene 4 - John Holmes and Jennifer Richards; At a bar, John Holmes meets another Devil, Jennifer Richards. Richards is a pretty, conservative looking brunette, with way too much make-up on. She dines with John and later goes home with him. Back at John's apartment they chat a little and drink some gin. She asks to see John's Oriental statues, which John keeps in his room. John picks up on the ruse and decides to play along. When he leaves to make another drink, John returns to find Jennifer naked on his bed. She eagerly gobbles up his cock, and he in turn eats her pussy. Jennifer has a full bush, sure to make naturalists happy. She lays back on the bed for a one position screw. John throws her legs up over his shoulder and drives home his massive cock. Jennifer starts muttering that she wants him to cum in her mouth. John complies and dumps a truckload of fuck juice into her open mouth and all over her pretty face.

The China Cat Scene 5 - John Holmes and Eileen Welles; The next day, John is called to the residence of a wealthy woman. The woman is none other than Eileen Welles. As Eileen pays John for sex, while Cris Cassidy and Jennifer Richards go about ransacking John's apartment, looking for the China Cat. Eileen gulps John's huge cock with tons of energy. John's cock is so big that she can only get the head inside. He fucks in a variation of the missionary position. The scene ends without a cumshot. As they sit relaxing after the screw, Eileen mentions that she would like to try something kinky. She wants John to fuck her in the ass. John's game and before you can say "Ouch!" he's all the way inside Eileen's tight asshole. Eileen buries her face into the pillow as the monster cock plows her back door. She bites down on the pillow with each thrust of the huge tool. The scene ends with John spilling his cum all over her face.

The China Cat Scene 6 - John Holmes and Cris Cassidy; Cris Cassidy gets caught inside John's apartment, as he wanders in the front door. She plays it cool and sits down on his bed. After making himself a drink, John notices the sexy blonde sitting in his bed. He confronts her and she relates how she is searching for the China Cat. She mentions that she is physically attracted to John and would like to sleep with him. Once again, John's up for it. Cris sucks his cock for a few minutes then asks him to make them both a drink to help them relax. As John gets up to make a couple of drinks, Cris proceeds to rub a bottle of knock-out formula into her pussy. When John returns he starts to eat out Cris. They attempt to do some missionary, but the knock-out drops take effect and John falls asleep atop Cris. She pushes him off and leaves with a napsack containing what she thinks is the Jade Pussycat when in fact it is just a replica. Even in sleep, John has fooled the girls again.

The China Cat Scene 7 - John Holmes and Kyoto Sun; Following the debacle, Charlie decides it's time to get serious. He hires a tiny Asian hitwoman to take John out. Kyoto Sun plays the beautiful Asian killer, who stumbles into John's dark apartment with a switchblade. As she approaches John, who is sleeping, she slowly raises the knife over her head and plunges it down. John awakens and manages to catch Kyoto's hand. He whips the knife out of her hand and rolls her over. He spreads her legs apart and cuts off her panties. He buries his mouth into Kyoto's pussy as she vehemently protests by kicking and screaming. John warns her to stop or he'll punch her out. He proceeds to insert his cock into Kyoto in the missionary position as he holds her arms down. Kyoto screams, "No, please, it's too big!" John doesn't stop and proceeds to fuck into Kyoto who quickly gets into the moment. "You want to fuck me?" she mutters. "I'm so horny... I'm so horny!" Kyoto screams. John rolls her over and they jump into the cowgirl position. John's cock looks way to big for tiny Kyoto who attempts to ride the super schlong. Her pussy is so damn tight that John's cock keeps bending sideways before sinking in. It's fucking hot. They do some doggie and the revert back to missionary which causes John to erupt all over Kyoto's stomach.

The film ends with John sitting in his office, feet up on the desk. He had outsmarted Charlie's Devils for now, but what was next. He looks up towards a large ceiling fan whirling overhead. Fastened to one of the blades is the statue. John smiles and the screen freeze frames as the credits roll.